Thursday, 28 June 2012

Sleeping rough

The night before id slept in a overgrown field that was once used as a sports field. Söme of the rules of rough camping are simple;
1. Find a suitable space hidden away from views of the locals
2.Make sure that your not to close to still water or long grass,the midge and their evil friends will be waiting
3.Not to close to a road so that you will get to sleep
4. Nearby suitable covering for the relief of substances your body will no longer need
5.A rock or even better a bench and table to prepare meal.

Id managed to tick no 1,2,3,4 but not 5. 5 I was not worried about as id already eaten earlier and breakfast i could have on the go.or find suitable location further on. So after a good nights sleep I was woken to the sound of a dog barking at my tent, certainly not a wolf or a bear. Soon it disapeared and i was left with peace. I stretched in the confines of my humble compact tent. Unzipped the polyester door and wiggled out of my sleeping bag into a beautiful summers morning. As i stood upand stretched in my boxers I realised very quickly that I was not alone. Even though I was tucked away in the corner of the field today was the junior European athletics day. And this morning the groundsmen were out preparing the field i was in for the days events, Also in MY field were 100s of teenage sporting legends to be, warming up for their big day. I was in full view, luckily my boxers were in good order, quick thinking I began to do a few streches myself showing off my athletic capabilities, and i think that i probably pulled it off passing as a coach for his wannabees!
It was around when things were looking ok the midge appeared and was ready for breakfast so with my extra swatting stretching technique i must have looked pretty cool in my boxers.I packed up and then point 4 needed to be taken care of. The night before I had found a suitable, i think position is the word, for this action however there was so many little blighters running around . I needed to look for another safe house after a bit of very suspicious looking i found a suitable place, i continued and relief was inimant and then  oww i was bitten on the bum by someone waiting for breakfast. Was there no sanctuary. Rough camping is what it is its free and it comes as usual with a price. 


  1. You are a formidable raconteur Mr P. You'll be dining out on stuff like this for years to come. Very, very funny indeed (especially the last comment - You could be international cyclo rough camping's answer to Clive James with wit like that). Sounds like you're having a ball and I'm very pleased to hear it. Rich

  2. Reminds me of when I rough camped just out of Los Angeles. In some dense bushes, right next to a super highway with the buzz of the overhead high power electricity wires sounding like a 6 foot mosquito giving birth. Luckily I was not disturbed by 100's of scantily dressed teenage athletes, although I did dream about them.........must have been the 10,000 volts above my head. The outdoor life I miss it.

  3. When do we get the answers to Who is Who ?